


Through Smoke and Fire

by moomkin



Series: Kallus is my homeboy [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Rebels
Genre: Combat, Gen, Heavy Angst, Origin Story, PTSD, Psychological Trauma, The Honorable Ones, War, battling demons, veterans writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2018-10-20 04:43:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 19,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10655163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moomkin/pseuds/moomkin
Summary: Agent Kallus joined the Imperial Security Bureau to do good, to bring the peace and security of his home world to the rest of the galaxy, but a disastrous confrontation with insurgents leaves him psychologically scarred. An Agent Kallus origin story.





	1. Onderon

"So, there's a thing called a horizon, it's this line where you can see the-"

"I know what the horizon is."

"Ah, just making sure. Sometimes you Coruscanti kids freak out when you go off world for the first time. Something about the open space. You don't feel secure unless you're surrounded by buildings."

Alexsandr Kallus ignored him, knowing the ribbing was good natured. He was the rookie on this trip and there were a lot of eyes watching. He'd graduated top of his class at the Academy and this would be his first mission with the Imperial Security Bureau. The others surrounding him had their own expectations. Graduating meant nothing if it didn't translate to quality field work.

 _No one cares about how much you know_ , the advice from Colonel Yularen echoing in Kallus's memories. _They care about how you act. Stay level headed, remember your training, and I expect you'll be taking my spot one-_

"And there's blue skies," Agent Taneleron broke Kallus's thoughts again. " _Empty_ blue skies. And silence. You've never experienced silence before."

"Charms of life outside the capital, hmm?" Kallus answered.

"There's the elitism at last," Agent Hunder chipped in, his voice as aged and gruff as the man himself. "So tell me, what benefit do you think you've got by staying on one world your entire life?"

When Kallus didn't answer right away, Agent Hunder growled a response, "Lack of experience can kill a man. Remember that."

"I will, sir," Kallus chirped back, a little too enthusiastically for Agent Hunder's liking.

"You think you're prepared because you can recite the correct regulations and write a stellar report," Agent Hunder said. " _School stuff_. But until you prove yourself in the field, you're no agent of the ISB."

"This bird has to land first, sir," Kallus said, smiling. Agent Hunder gave him a last stern look before going back to ignoring that the rookie even occupied a seat on the shuttle.

Agent Taneleron put his arm around Kallus's shoulder, giving him a shake.

"Hey, don't worry, kid. Stay by me and I'll keep you safe."

"Safe from what?" Kallus said, trying to duck out from under his arm. "Agent Gyomer?"

From across the aisle, Agent Gyomer lifted an eyebrow.

"Stay out of my way, rookie," she said. "Or I'll kill you before the insurgents will."

"If we find any," Kallus said.

"Oh, we'll find some," she said.

Another few minutes dragged on, the shuttle buffeted by the planet's atmosphere.

Kallus could feel his heart rate start to climb, the adrenaline making his hands tremble. Despite trying to look professional, a smile kept creeping back to his face. He looked around the cargo bay. Out of the twenty or so agents, he seemed to the only one making a big deal out of this. Kallus couldn't help it.

_This is it._

"Alright, agents, plus one," Agent Hunder stood up as a control panel next to the ramp flipped from red to green, signaling their landing was eminent. "Our mission on Onderon is simple, and vital. There are reports of a growing rebel insurrection. 'Saw Gerrera's Partisans.' They've claimed responsibility for attacks on Imperial buildings, and just last week, they began targeting Imperial citizens for harassment. Our job is to interview these citizens, find out what they know. Make some solid leads, and we might even be able to find their base of operations. If we run into these Partisans, we try to take as many as we can prisoner, to be transferred to ISB headquarters on Coruscant, for interrogation."

"Easy peasy, one two three-sy," Agent Taneleron said, grinning.

"How is that no one cuts _me_ any slack," Kallus asked. "But you-"

"Because Taneleron has done something," Agent Gyomer said, standing up, adjusting her protective vest. "Until you actually do something, keep your mouth shut."

The shuttle jostled as it settled down on the world's surface. Kallus drove the doubts of his superiors out of his head. _They haven't seen you work yet,_ he reminded himself. The hydrolics hissed, and the ramp started to drop.

Kallus jumped up from his seat. There was something about it – the first off world experience he'd had. The moment the humid air touched his face. The smells of exotic … he didn't even know what. He had no words to describe them. As the ramp continued to lower, Imperial officers standing by to receive them, storm troopers in… sand colored uniforms? _This was great_. It was _real._

The only thing Kallus wished he could do was share this excitement with someone. But professionalism… he plastered a serious face over his smile, locked his eyes in scanning mode, started to think like an Imperial agent.

_Look for patterns. For breaks in those patterns._

Their brief with the Imperial officers of the receiving party was thankfully short but unfortunately pointless –the same information Agent Hunder had put out. Kallus tried to reign in his eagerness to start working. _Your time is coming._

"We're very happy you are here," the lieutenant said as the ISB group began to disembark.

Since no one responded, Kallus gave him a nod and answered, "We'll restore order here." It sounded like a very ISB thing to say. There were a few under-breath snickers at Kallus's remark from the other agents.

 _Okay, the silence really is noticeable,_ Kallus thought to himself as the agents began their way down what he assumed was the main street. The buildings were… so… small. And the sky really _was_ empty. But it was the silence that kept tripping him up. It was somehow louder than any noise he'd remembered hearing on Coruscant. It was more intrusive than the sounds of weapons firing.

Granted, Kallus had never heard a blaster fired in anger. Coruscant was peaceful, pleasant. People walked down the streets, with security and happiness. It was something Kallus loved about his world. Something he wanted to share with all worlds. The idea that there were people – regular civilians – who had to question whether or not to leave their house, whether or not they should let their children play outside – it was hard to conceive living such a life.

 _You're here to make it better,_ Kallus told himself, a grin escaping.

It was the last thought he had before the explosion.

Kallus opened his eyes, his vision blurry. Something was dancing in front of him, but the more he tried to focus on it, the fuzzier it became.

 _Use your other senses,_ he told himself.

The smells…. Fuel maybe. Something strong and chemical. And burning… carbon. Dust in the air… permacrete split. Maybe the ground unsettled. And … something else. Something he didn't know.

And the sounds… the rippling sound of fire, quite close by. A scream warbled in and out of Kallus's consciousness. A creaking of metal, as something slowly collapsed in on itself.

Kallus felt an involuntary cough rattle his chest, and tasted… blood.

_We've been attacked._

Kallus tried to widen his eyes, to force information into them, and slowly, ever so slowly, the picture came into focus. There was a speeder maybe ten feet in front of him. A speeder, maybe, it was so badly disfigured by an explosion it was hard to tell what it had been.

A scream nearby shook Kallus, and he drowsily moved his head. But the source of it, he couldn't tell.

_The boys…_

Kallus tried to prop himself up, but the only answer he got from his body was a tightening in his chest. It was the only movement he was capable of. Panic started to set in. He tried, again and again, against his stubborn body.

_Get up._

A figure moved in front of him, and Kallus watched as the shape– taller than any human he knew – slowly emerged from the smoke and fire. It was some kind of creature. Large, with green eyes hungrily taking in the carnage. When it smiled, it revealed sharp, demonic teeth. It's pointed ears perked up… it was… the sort of satisfaction a beast might have when stumbling upon easy prey.

 _Get up,_ Kallus told himself again, feeling his blaster within reach, safe in his drop holster on his thigh. But his fingers wouldn't budge.

"Check it out, Saw," the beast said, it's pace quickened. Kallus felt his stomach drop a little at it's feet… giant toes swarming together as it lifted it's foot, and spreading out as it contacted the ground again. It was… repulsive. Not human. There were claws on those feet. Claws that scratched the permacrete each time it moved... the sound of it grated into Kallus's consciousness.

"Agents of the Imperial Security Bureau," the beast said, deep and rippling. "We must not be doing a good enough job if this is all they send us."

Saw Gerrera, Kallus recognized him immediately from their briefings, stepped through the black smoke, scanning the wreckage. Scattered bodies, some still, others recovering from the shock of the blast.

"We need to send a stronger message, then, don't you agree?" Saw said. The beast's grin widened it's face.

"That's more like it," it said. "All this hiding in the shadows stuff, it's not the Lasat way."

 _A Lasat?_ What the hell was a Lasat?

Kallus felt his chest tighten up again, frustration marring his face. _Get up._ But every time he tried to force his body to obey, it only answered with that pitiful strain in his chest.

The beast, the Lasat, strode up to the first agent. Kallus couldn't remember his name. But he'd given Kallus a little nudge as they stepped off the shuttle, a quick smile, a nod of understanding. _I've been in your shoes before._ Another Coruscanti rich kid having to prove himself.

The agent was badly burned. Kallus could see the red dominating his face, the tendrils of smoke lifting off his black uniform. He was struggling to crawl, a blaster lay just out of reach. The Lasat straddled over him, grinning.

"Go on, you've almost got it," it mocked. But the agent didn't give up. The second his fingers touched the grip of the blaster, the Lasat lifted his foot and…

The sound… Kallus felt the air get sucked out of his lungs. A wet crunch… the Lasat lifted his foot, laughing.

"Probably shouldn't have lost your helmet," it laughed at the bloody, decapitated mess that used to be a human being.

Kallus thought he'd known panic before, but this… each heart beat sent a spike of pain, pulsating throughout his body. It hurt. This kind of fear actually hurt.

_Get up._

The Lasat scanned the wreckage for his next victim. Kallus could only watch helplessly. At least this death was obscured behind a mound of debris. But the sound… nothing could shield the sound. Another crack of bones breaking, a wet gush of blood.

Kallus could feel his chest heaving, his heart stamping in protest. The only movement he could force out of his body was an overwhelming trembling.

Another three agents, all of them dispatched in the same way. But there was hope. Kallus could recognize Agent Gyomer from her pony tail, fluttering in the breeze as she staggered to her feet. Dazed, like they all were, she struggled to hone her blaster on her target. The Lasat jumped up, planted on a building behind her, and pushed off, knocked Agent Gyomer to the ground.

"Stop!" her voice eerily desperate, a plea that hung in the air long after her body went still.

"That's all you've got?" the Lasat wheeled around, glancing at the other bodies. "Agents of the Imperial Security Bureau? But you've come to stop us."

Agent Hunder… Kallus recognized him by the mustache. The Lasat grabbed the man with his toes, a squeeze and the air popped with the crunch of broken bones, and flung his limp body away… like he was garbage.

Kallus felt his foot kick suddenly, hope seized him. _GET UP._ His winced, nothing answering his desperation except the tightening of his chest.

The rubble next to him shifted, and Kallus nearly stopped breathing. His eyes darted to the sound, and saw- his heart rising. It was Agent Taneleron! Their eyes met, Taneleron glanced down, reached for Kallus's thigh, took his blaster.

They were going to be-

Taneleron moved so quickly, Kallus didn't know whether he'd acted on his own will or not. But no – he'd sprung up, screaming a painful roar as he forced his body to stand, pointing the blaster at the Lasat. The beast had no chance…

But blast after blast struck the beast, and it barely budged. Shots began missing their target, and Taneleron was on the ground again, gasping in pain. Kallus quickly looked him up and down – the mangled meat hanging off his leg… _how did he manage to stand_?

The Lasat approached, calming dodging a few more wild shots. The scowl on its face hardening as it placed its massive foot on Taneleron's chest.

No words this time, just an angry growl.

Kallus winced, blocking out his sight, but unable to stop the sound from reaching his ear. He gasped, a cry, as it happened.

"You. Plead," Kallus heard the Lasat demand.

His eyelids fluttered opened, and found the Lasat had another agent by the throat. He'd lifted him clear off the ground, the agents hands digging at the claws around his neck.

"PLEAD," the Lasat roared.

"I have two kids," Kallus heard the agent whisper hoarsely. "Please-"

Kallus didn't close his eyes fast enough. Another cry escaped his lips. He felt his chest rise and fall in pained spurts, his heart beating so fast it was shaking his entire body.

A shadow blocked out the sun.

"Look at this baby face," the voice taunted.

Kallus opened his eyes again, felt a tear escape his eye. The Lasat was on top of him.

"Here, let's man you up," it said. Large claws clamped over Kallus's jaw, squeezing his cheeks together. Clawed fingers, warm… and wet… with blood. The Lasat didn't waiver, didn't look away, didn't blink. Kallus could feel his own eyes grow larger and larger… waiting for death.

And then the beast laughed.

"You'll do," it said, dropping his hold and straightening up. It laughed again, and turned away. Just like that. It vanished once more through the smoke it had arrived in, and then… there was silence.

The silence.

Soon replaced with a lonely sob.


	2. Onderon: Aftermath

The minutes dragged on.

Kallus kept alternating between keeping his eyes open – terrified the Lasat would be back to finish him off – and keeping his eyes closed – no matter where he could settle his gaze, there was a reminder of the carnage he'd just witnessed.

The silence was almost as horrific as the massacre.

The banter which flowed freely between the agents on the shuttle… gone forever. And in its place, Kallus's memories kept filling in the quiet with the sounds of their screams, the sounds of bodies desecrated…

Another sob wracked his chest, involuntarily leaving his lips.

How much time dragged on, alone and surrounded by his dead friends, Kallus had no idea. He had no way to measure it – being lost in his tormented mind.

When the sound of footsteps began approaching, Kallus felt his heart beat a horrified stab in his chest. It wasn't until the unmistakable helmets of the Imperial stormtroopers came into view that Kallus felt himself relieved. Not calm, but at least relieved.

"What the-?" one of the storm troopers said.

It was a platoon, rushing to the rescue. Late, horribly and inexcusably late. Their murmurs of disgust flooded Kallus with an anger he didn't know he had. They had no right to be disgusted… they weren't there. They didn't see it happen. They didn't know who these agents were…

"Hey, we've got a survivor over here!"

Kallus felt a hand shake him, and his eyes focused on the world in front of him, torn out of his thoughts.

"Hey, you okay?" the storm trooper asked him.

Kallus struggled to find his voice, and finally mumbled, "I can't move."

"Call back to base," another voice said. "We're going to need some body bags."

Kallus closed his eyes.

"We've got a hover-stretcher in that transport?"

"Yeah, let me have three troopers, on me."

Kallus kept his eyes closed as he felt the storm troopers lift him up. Somehow the shame was intensified in that moment. He didn't deserve this… somehow he'd survived. For some reason, he'd been allowed to live. And being taken away, taken to safety, somehow didn't feel right.

Guilt at the pleasure of being laid down on something that wasn't rubble. And then gently floating away. And somehow, leaving the bodies behind felt wrong. A wave of guilt washed over him, as he opened his eyes, one last time taking in the details. He would never forget this. He could never let himself forget it.

The ride back to the base was forgivingly quick. But once Kallus got to a medical droid, the mechanical voice which spoke back to him was crueller that even that Lasat.  
"Diagnosis, no injuries."

Kallus shook his head, refusing to believe it.

"But… that's impossible. I can't move. I'm paralyzed, I have to have a spinal-"

"Shock has interesting ways of influencing the human body," the droid said. "Momentary paralysis is not unheard of when in situations of great distress."

"No…" Kallus whispered, the guilt eating away at his mind. So… he just laid there. His body had turned him into a coward. And now the memories of those voices came back, screaming in his head, screaming for help… and knowing that he hadn't been paralyzed by the blast… that he'd just laid there. That when he was needed the most, he'd only cared about himself.

" _No_ ," Kallus shouted this time.

"Preparing sedatives," the droid said, as impassioned as ever.

Kallus struggled against his body, growing more frustrated that if he wasn't injured that he still couldn't get it to cooperate. The droid had to be wrong… there had to be something wrong with him. Maybe it was malfunctioning. Maybe it-

Kallus felt a sharp stab in his thigh. He was unconscious before he had the chance to see what had happened.

**-SWR-**

Kallus was sure he would have to face to some kind of reprimand. What else would have been fair? He'd laid back and did nothing, while his friends were being hunted down, one by one, murdered without mercy.

But nothing happened.

Just a review board, a panel of three emotionless officers, recording Kallus's story. He struggled to tell it, giving every detail, the hatred heavy on his words. But they deserved that much. The other agents – they deserved to have what happened to them recorded in the archives for all times.

And then it was over. The officers standing, thanking him for his time, but that was all, go back to duty.

It was more terrible than Kallus could have imagined. He deserved some kind of punishment, something fitting the cowardice he'd shown.

Going back to Coruscant, to the Imperial Security Bureau, felt like the worst injustice. But no one ever said anything, no chide remark about failing to help the other agents. No whispers following him. It was as if nothing had happened at all.

But Kallus was changed. Distant. He refused to let himself get close to anyone, because even if no one called him out on it, he knew what had happened. Seeing his friends in such a situation, he was so scared for them that his body shut down. Having friends was dangerous – to himself, to them.

And then one day, years later, the chance for redemption.

"The situation on Lasan has grown volatile," the officer of the guard mount said. "We're looking for volunteers to help with evacuations of Imperial staff as the military attempts to quell the uprising-"

"Lasan," Agent Kallus mused, quickly referencing his datapad. He was sure the two were connected, but when the information came back, his heart was steadfast.  
"I volunteer," he said. His eyes just had to fall upon one single phrase.

_Lasan: homeworld of the Lasat species._


	3. The Seige of Lasan: Part 1

Kallus tried to steady himself. The shuttle was buffeted by the atmosphere, some mild turbulence. The ride mimicked his emotions. Seemingly safe, contained, controlled, but the slightest movement threw everything into a fury.

He was only minutes from stepping foot on their planet.

Kallus tried to tell himself this wasn't about revenge, but even he couldn't fool himself.

"Remember, this is a search and rescue operation," the storm trooper captain was saying. Kallus had long ago gotten into the habit of forgetting names. "From the time we left Coruscant until now, the situation on Lasan has gotten worse. There are full scale riots going on in their capital. The first troops to land have been reduced in numbers, perhaps completely wiped out. But this is a rescue op. Our shuttle will land as close to the Imperial housing as we can get, and we will aid in the evacuation efforts. But intel has come back saying riots have targeted these areas."

"Then they're already dead," Kallus mumbled to himself, his eyes glazed over, unfocused. Seeing something that was no longer there.

He closed his eyes – winced, really – as his memory kicked into overdrive. Smells – things that he couldn't possibly be smelling for real, but which his brain seemed to think were real. Memories of that day long ago.

He shook his head, or perhaps it was the turbulence which shook him – either case, he was once again in the present.

"-here has dealt with the Lasat before," the storm trooper captain was saying. "Any advice, Agent Kallus?"

"Kill them," Kallus muttered. "Without mercy. They will have none for you."

And he winced again, as a cry echoed in his memory long ago. _Please..._

There was an uncomfortable silence, broken by the shuttle settling onto the planet surface.

"Troopers, on me," the captain shouted. "Create a perimeter. Agents, remember to tag each residence you enter once it's been cleared of Imperials. We don't want to check the same houses twice. Time will be our biggest enemy."

Kallus laughed sarcastically.

And then, grimly, the captain added, "Leave the bodies. Once the planet is secure we will send in teams to remove them. Our focus today is on the living."

With that cheery thought, the ramp began to drop.

It was a war zone.

Kallus had never truly been in a war. Plenty of skirmishes, but mostly small scale. Chasing smugglers, or pirates, or those involved in some high-stakes criminal activity. Kallus had become dead to those kinds of encounters.

He thought he'd made his heart calloused to it.

How very wrong he was.

Kallus's eyes took in all they could. Black smoke pumped into the sky over head. The smell of burning, of smoke and dust, of collapsed buildings… and even worse, the sharp, nauseating stench of bodies... burning. Kallus remembered that smell.

There were the sharp snaps of blaster fire, interspersed with screams – guttural animal sounds, the sounds of rage, of combat, of final lines being crossed, of death and the dying. Immediately the adrenaline started to kick in. It was not even fear – it was full-fledged panic.

_Work through it._

Kallus was running before he realized it. Clutching his blaster, which experience had taught him was pointless in dealing with the Lasat. The storm troopers were soon lost behind him. A shout from yards back reached him, telling him to not over extend their line, but Kallus kept running.

He got to the first house, the door was smashed, half way collapsed into the abode. Kallus kicked it in the rest of the way, gasping to regain his breath.

"Is anyone in here?" he shouted, wincing at how high the pitch of his voice had gotten. "I'm an Imperial!"

He listened for a moment, waiting for a response. He took a step into the house, looking around. It was… more horrific than he could have imagined.

It was a house – a house that had a family in it. There were cups knocked over, as if those who lived here rushed away in a hurry. Toys… there were children here. Kallus felt his stomach twist. And those monsters had come in here?

Without meaning to, Kallus heard a scream – it sounded loud and real, but Kallus knew his memory was screaming to be recognized. To be acknowledged. To be relieved.  
He shook his head, trying to focus. Again, he called out. And again he listened, desperate. He took another few steps into the house, and then felt his knees give out from underneath him.

A minute later he stumbled out of the house, his face deathly pale.

And he marked the frame of the door. The number three. In case anyone really was coming to claim the dead.

The run to the next house was surreal. He didn't feel anything – no emotions, no exhaustion. Like he was suddenly outside of his body, or watching what he was doing from somewhere else.

The next house, at least the door was still fixed.

"Anyone here?" he called out, and heard scrambling. "I'm an Imperial!"

There was a girl.

"Come here," Kallus said, opening up his arms. "Where's your parents?"

"They went to go fight," the girl said, her voice startling absent. Kallus waved her over, his heart rate kicking up a notch when he heard a screaming growl outside the door. A Lasat was close. The snaps of blaster fire – more growling. They didn't have time for this.

Kallus scooped up the girl in one arm, and was outside the next moment. He tried not to focus on the details – the fire erupting from the window of a house across the street, the sort of grotesque noises those Lasat beasts made. Kallus whipped his head around – terrified of seeing one, but just as scared at the thought of being chased down and killed while his back was turned… while he was attempting to rescue a little girl from the carnage…

_What kind of monsters are these?_

He ran as though he had a Lasat directly behind him.

"Lura!" a woman's panicked scream pierced the battle, Kallus turned to see a woman, a head wound bleeding profusely, running haltingly towards him.

"Mama!" the little girl screamed, too, Kallus wishing they would stop because it was causing his heart to stab his chest with each beat.

"Hurry!" Kallus said, once he'd delivered the girl to her mother's arms. They certainly weren't hurrying. He knew it was shock, but sympathy would get them killed. He grabbed onto the woman's arms, yanking her towards the awaiting shuttle.

His heart stopped so abruptly he actually had to paw at his chest.

The shuttle… was leaving.

"WAIT!" Kallus shouted, but of course that was absolutely pointless. The shuttle pilots certainly couldn't hear them, and now the girl was wailing in terror.

Kallus's face paled, his eyes wide. They reached the platform, and he was somewhat relieved that there were others waiting too. Other injured civilians, other agents. Nearly everyone looking up at the shuttle. Kallus could read the looks on those faces – they were all preparing themselves for death.

The sound of blasterfire opening up shook Kallus, turning, he saw them. For the first time in years, but the old terror came back as vicious as ever. But he was standing this time… this time he wouldn't let anyone down.

Raising his own blaster, he tried to take aim, his hands shaking.

_They're counting on you!_

With the first pull of the trigger, the terror left him. This was vengeance… this was justice. And suddenly everything fell into place. It felt _right._

He tried to block out the screams of the others who were waiting, but just as quickly as his own fear had left, it was starting to creep back. There had to at least be a dozen of them – it was hard for Kallus to focus. And the volley of blaster fire the Imperials flung at them barely put a dent in their ranks.

Kallus calmly kept his eyes on his sights, aiming for vital points… but as the beast he was aiming for got closer, somehow still rushing them after it took hit after hit after hit. Kallus pulled his face back from his sights, shooting wildly. And finally it fell. Kallus felt his heart rate climbing again.

The Imperials, stranded on a landing platform, had barely survived a couple of these monsters. Kallus looked around – the faces of the innocent, they were all the vacant kind of surrender that was common of those who knew they were simply dead men walking.

_No._

Desperately looking around for a solution, seeing nothing. Trapped. And the images flooded Kallus's mind – they would be hunted down, one by one. Mutilated, tortured. Killed by animals who would laugh with joy.

_NO._

There were more coming, more emerging from the smoke and the fire. Kallus set his feet firmly on the ground, anchoring himself before the innocent. If he was going to die, at least it would be like this. Standing.

"There's another transport," a storm trooper nearby said to one of his fellow troopers. "Over there, leaving the palace."

And the fellow trooper, raised a disrupter, shooting it, the energized bolt screaming across the sky and struck the starship. Kallus felt his heart soar.

"The disrupters, how many do we have?" Kallus stammered, his voice once again pathetically high pitched.

"At least twen-"

Kallus cut him off, "Use them on those Lasat!"

"But… these…. They're for machines."

"USE THEM OR WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!"

The Lasat were fast - nearly upon them – when the first one was hit with a disruptor. And Kallus didn't even try to deny the emotion. The screams – the agony – it hit Kallus as a wave of relief. They'd found something that turned the tide. They had the upper hand now.

He craned his neck upwards, watching the star destroyer high above them, barely visible through the blue of the sky. Waiting… the shuttle should be returning.


	4. The Seige of Lasan: Part 2

It was the wrong kind of reaction to seeing the shuttle return. One of intense foreboding, almost reluctance, a wish that it hadn't returned at all. The news it brought with it weren't of escape and safety, but of more dangers ahead.

"We have reports they've taken hostages," the report was delivered completely wrong - emotionless, dry, not like the reaction felt by Kallus. "Maybe as many as thirty. Being held at the palace."

Most of the others were already on the shuttle – how they had all managed to survive for so long was beyond Kallus's ability to figure out. No one looked particularly eager to volunteer. No, they were doing what was so typical of someone hearing something they wished not to have heard – they simply looked away, overacting their ignorance.

"I will go," Kallus said, perhaps not as bold as he'd hoped to sound, but resolved nonetheless.

"We weren't asking for volunteers!" the captain of the shuttle said, surprised. "We were just telling you – if you haven't accounted for all the-"

"We aren't leaving anyone here!" Kallus snapped back.

He couldn't believe it – the Empire wouldn't abandon its own people, would it? No… it was this captain. Afraid, most likely. Not wanting to make another trip if he could help it. Not that Kallus could really blame him – the sky was filled with pillars of smoke as other ships – military craft – were being shot down. The battle was far from over. Their mission had been to secure the innocent, the Imperial workers – government employees and their families.

"You'll never make it," the captain of the shuttle shouted, but by then Kallus was already turning away, looking down the street laid out before him. Much of the buildings were in ruin, the rubble spilling out onto the road. Fires were burning without restraint, smoke was filling the sky. But it led almost directly to the palace, not even a half of a mile from where the shuttle stood.

_You have to try._

It was a crazy thought, a suicidal thought, but perhaps that was what attracted Kallus to it. In some sort of morbid way, it felt necessary. A way to make amends for the wrongs he'd done… his complacency watching his friends die.

Kallus was running before the shuttle took off. By the time he'd make it to the end of the first block, he could hear it's engines pick up – they'd decided to leave without him. Kallus tried not to think about what he would do if the shuttle didn't come back.

The battle is turning, he tried to convince himself.

He wasn't too far off. Not like he had any way to confirm his hopes at that point. But when the shuttle had returned, it was one of the first things the stormtrooper commander had said. Tell all units to use the T-7s against the enemy. The beasts didn't stand a chance.

But that wasn't Kallus's priority anymore. He had to get to the palace.

His fingers tightened around his own T-7 ion disruptor – having secured one from a storm trooper when they were standing their ground and protecting the landing site. It gave him confidence, even though Kallus knew the dangers of becoming too confident in a weapon. It was one of the reasons he'd spent much of his free time training in various combative arts. But against a Lasat, Kallus was more than willing to rely on his weapon.

He met no resistance on the way to the palace. Either they had killed anything with the will to resist the Empire in this sector, or they had fled. But the palace… surely there would be guards there. Kallus knew close to nothing about the Lasat way – but what he thought he knew told him there would be a lot of resistance in the palace. They would more than likely defend their royalty with everything they had.

Kallus tightened his grip on his weapon, his knuckles turning white.

And he would fight them with everything he had.

He was nearly at the palace when a screaming green bolt rained down from orbit. Kallus could feel the explosion in his skull, his teeth feeling like they were threatening to fall out of his jaw. He didn't realize he'd fallen until he was on the ground, the planet beneath him trembling from the attack.

Kallus looked up, his heart lightening.

__They were bombing the palace?!_ _

And then just as quickly, his stomach twisted.

__But they've got hostages there!_ _

Kallus scrambled to his feet, looking up to see if any more attacks were coming. No, it doesn't matter. Whether they attack or not, you have to get the hostages.  
He chased away the obvious – how can you help anyone if you're dead? – and continued to run towards the palace. He actually had to scramble over rubble in order to gain entry. The stones were warm, having absorbed the energy from the blast, but he climbed over them safely.

And even with the palace in partial ruin, Kallus was impressed with its grandeur. Well, not enough to feel bad about wanting the entire thing to burn down once he was done with his mission.

There were guards, just as he had expected. At least down this first corridor, they were dead. Dead or unconscious. Kallus didn't care which. He was more interested in their weapons – an idea of what he would have to face if he came across a live one.

Kallus put his disruptor down and grabbed the weapon of one of the dead Lasat – this one was most certainly dead. He wouldn't have risked trying to do something like this with a beast if he wasn't sure it was already dead.

But Kallus couldn't figure it out – it just looked like an oversized rifle. Simple enough to figure out how to defend oneself against.

He reached down to grab his disruptor, and his heart stopped. It wasn't there.

And a voice, behind him.

"Don't move."


	5. The Seige of Lasan: Part 3

Kallus hadn't felt fear like this since that day on Onderan. The terror, the physical pain of his spiking heart rate… it revisited him with a fury. Kallus was kneeling, frozen, mentally scolding himself for being so foolish to leave his weapon unattended.

But he could move – he tested his fingers and they obeyed, curling into fists as he had wanted them to. The game had changed.

Despite knowing there was a T-7 ion disruptor pointed at his back, despite having been ordered by a blood thirsty monster to not move, Kallus was emboldened. He stood up, wheeling around to face his assailant-

-to find that the monster wasn't even holding the disruptor anymore… Kallus's eyes flickered quickly around the hallways, spotting it far out of reach.

"I will give you one chance to leave," the Lasat said, it's brutal handling of Basic grating on Kallus's ears.

Maybe he was delirious, but Kallus actually laughed. "Why, so you can shoot me in the back?"

"That's not the Lasat warrior way," the monster said.

Kallus grinned, "Oh, I know about your warrior ways… attack the defenseless, murder the weak."

"You are speaking of the attacks on your people," the Lasat said. "We did not authorize this."

"How very convenient," Kallus said.

"If you do not leave now, you will force me to end you," the Lasat said, modifying his stance. Kallus copied him, ready to fight.

Kallus's grin widened. This monster had no idea…. No matter how this fight went, Kallus would be happy. Either he would kill the Lasat and avenge his compatriots who had been so brutally murdered all those years ago… or the Lasat would kill him and his cowardice would be properly paid for.

It gave him an odd rush. A steady handle over his nerves. To know that he wasn't trying to avoid any particular fate…

"So you have chosen death," the Lasat said. Kallus straightened up a bit in surprise – the monster actually dropped his own weapon.

Kallus curled his hands in fists. He was ready for this. Even if he was woefully unprepared, outclassed, outmuscled, he was ready. It had been too long.

But the seconds dragged on. Kallus scowled. So the monster wasn't going to make the first attack? Of course… it knew Kallus barely posed a threat without a weapon. It was trying to lure him in, force him to close the distance. Kallus reached down, pulled a knife from his boot, watching the Lasat to see if it changed its opinion. No… the expression only hardened, but apparently bringing a knife to this fight wasn't a threat, either.

Then again, it evened their match.

Kallus chased away the thought of this animal having any kind of honor, switched his grip on his knife, and planned his first attack.

He didn't even try for subtlety. With a scream, he lunged, knife held low, ready for a swipe – and got knocked aside with a force like getting hit by a star destroyer. Kallus slammed into the opposite wall, the air knocked out of his lungs, and he collapsed on the ground, gasping.

Kallus was pretty sure he'd broken a rib. Coughing, he was shocked to see a spray of blood on the ground before him. He staggered to his feet, trying to control his breathing. The stab of pain in his chest could be controlled… this was his time. He had to control it. He couldn't be overpowered so easily.

The Lasat narrowed its eyes.

Kallus tried to charge it again, but the bolt of pain which shook his body reduced him to a halt.

_No…_

"Give up this fight," the Lasat said, calmly but with authority. "You are not my equal."

Kallus growled, changed his hold on his knife again, and threw it at the Lasat. The monster barely had enough time to raise its arm. Kallus bared his teeth – he'd been aiming for its heart. The Lasat hardly even made a sound, even though the knife had sunk into it's flesh. Disappointedly, only in the arm it had raised in defense.

_Press the attack._

Kallus stumbled forward as quickly as he could, before the beast could react, he'd already pulled the weapon from where it had landed. Instinctively, Kallus ducked, and good thing that he did – the Lasat swung its arms outward, as if planning to swat him aside again.

Which left its torso wide open.

  
Except Kallus couldn't raise his arms – another crippling shock of pain exploded from his chest, weakened his knees, he momentarily lost his balance. He dove forward before his weakness could be used against him, plunging the knife into the Lasat's unprotected belly.

Kallus didn't have a chance to congratulate himself.

In fact, he didn't have a chance to even contemplate what had happened. One moment he'd been standing before his foe, and the next he was sprawled on the ground a few meters away. His head was spinning, vision blurry. If he didn't know better, he'd say he'd been punched in the face.

And on top of that, all his knife attack seemed to have done was make the Lasat angrier.

_The knife!_

The monster had dug the knife out from its belly, flung it aside. Kallus clambered to his feet, his acceptance of death pushing him to doing things he normally wouldn't risk. He had to get that knife. The beast was weakened… Kallus had the upper hand. He had to press the advantage.

But the Lasat saw what he was up to, reached the knife first, and kicked it away. Kallus's heart sank – the knife slid across the stone floor quickly, too far for him to reach now in the state he was in. He returned his eyes to the Lasat, wondering what its next move would be.

To Kallus's surprise, the Lasat appeared… weak. Kallus couldn't believe it – refused to believe it – if shooting the monsters hardly slowed them down, then how could one stab wound have such an effect?

Kallus screamed and charged the beast, not even knowing what he was going to do once he reached his opponent. He had no weapon any more. He curled up his hands into fists again, raining down blow after blow. His assault became a blur.

At first – either because it was surprised or because it was really that weak – the Lasat did nothing to fend off his attack. But then with one swipe, claws racked against Kallus's chest and he collapsed again, screaming. His protective vest thankfully took the majority of the blow, but even then, his tunic was ripped, and he could feel warmth on his stomach.

  
Kallus had just enough warning to raise his arm to protect his face when another swipe of claws tore into his arm. Another scream, and Kallus found himself sprawled on the ground, looking up at the monster.

_No._

He wasn't going to die like this… if this was his moment, he would at least go out swinging, not laying on the ground helplessly.

How he fought through the pain to spring to his feet, Kallus had no idea. But the Lasat certainly hadn't expected it either. Kallus struck the beast as hard as he could on the stab wound. It howled in unexpected pain, stumbled back a few feet.

Kallus followed, invigorated, throwing his chest forward, confident. And punched it again in the stab wound. Pushing through his own pain, pushing it to a place where he could no longer feel it.

And then he knew how desperate the beast really was – it saw it's dropped weapon – and reached for it. Rather than fear, Kallus felt superior. He'd gained the upper hand, forced this monster to find a weapon to make the fight balanced… he could win this.

Kallus's drive had brought the fight back, and while he was distracted by the Lasat going for its weapon, his eyes also caught a glint of sunlight reflecting off… the knife! It was nearly simultaneous – the Lasat grabbed his bo-rifle while Kallus dove for his knife.

The two combatants faced each other again. Both bleeding, both weakened. Kallus could see the monster's chest heaving.

The Lasat hit a button on its weapon and ignited some kind of electric shock, the yellow glow flickering on the cold stone around them. Kallus gripped his knife harder. Knowing instinctively that this would be the last moment.

It growled, and Kallus remained motionless, watching the beast come towards him, swinging that weapon. Waiting, accepting that death might come, time slowing, and then there it was – the perfect opportunity.

Kallus crouched down, barely missing the downward stab of the bo-rifle, and came up again, this time his knife finding its target in the beast's chest. It collapsed, Kallus remained standing, and waited… waited for the rejuvenation of redemption to wash over him.

But it never did.


	6. The Seige of Lasan: Part 4

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

It was supposed to have gotten better. Kallus knew it was supposed to get better. That's how redemption worked. The sun would dawn on a new day. The weight would be lifted.  
But as he waited, the only difference Kallus could feel was a stacking up of the dark walls around him. A coldness. He could quite literally feel his heart becoming hard in his chest. There was no relief. No peace to be made with old ghosts.

He gritted his teeth, his eyes wide, glaring at the beast before him. It had done this to him. He'd defeated it. He'd nearly died in the process. He'd done it to avenge his friends. It was right. And yet, there was no satisfaction.

Kallus glared at his foe. Somehow, that beast had robbed him of his redemption.

The Lasat would die soon. It had stopped fighting. It was holding itself up, with trembling arms. Kallus gripped his knife, ignoring the pain in his chest, the blood still dripping at an alarming rate from his arm and abdomen. Ignoring his injuries, because the pain in his heart was overwhelming everything else.

This fight… had been virtuous. Warranted. Justified.

So why didn't anything change?

And then… the monster dared to look up at him.

Even if the Lasat had been bested, even if it was clear it's time was fast approaching, Kallus couldn't let it die in peace. It had to suffer. This fight wasn't over. There was still a price that needed to be paid.

With a scream of rage, Kallus lifted his knife, when-

The Lasat's paw, was on its weapon, pushing it across the floor, towards Kallus's feet. Kallus watched, in disbelief and a refusal to believe, as the Lasat, trembling, weak, grasping onto the last threads of life, presented the rifle at his feet. And then, just as deliberately, lifted its paw from the weapon.

Kallus raised his arm, ready to deliver the killing blow, when he realized that… it was giving him the rifle…

Kallus narrowed his eyes.

For reasons he couldn't quite understand, could never put into words, the sight of it flooded him with wrath.

"You don't get to decide when this ends!" Kallus roared, slashing down at the beast helpless before him. And just as fast, the rage was overwhelmed with guilt – it was helpless! It was no longer fighting. It was surrendering!

It didn't matter.

What mattered was that something had to pay.

Kallus didn't realize the Lasat was dead until much later, after he'd exhausted himself and fell, utterly spent, on the ground beside it's body. He couldn't hold onto the knife anymore, his hand was wet with blood.

And he closed his eyes, tears escaping in sheets.

_No._

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

There was no way Kallus should have won. Lasats had murdered innocent civilians… they had ripped through his friends… And he was just one man. He'd defeated a superior creature with his bare hands and a knife… he'd driven it to surrender.

And he'd triumphed.

So why did nothing change?

Kallus screamed again, a wordless cry of rage, and grabbed the bo-rifle, the electrified ends sparking, sending flickers of light dancing off the ruined stone around them. Somewhere… somewhere in this palace was his redemption.

Kallus staggered to his feet, grunting, stumbling to the next Lasat. It was unconscious. Or dead, it didn't matter. He grabbed the bo-rifle and lifting it as high as his bruised chest would allow, he slammed the electric end into the beast's body.

And waited….

Chest heaving, Kallus pushed himself away, half-dragging himself to the next unconscious guardsman. And the next. And the next. And each time waiting, hoping to get that wash of relief, to know it was over.

He didn't stop, even when storm troopers arrived and told him to evacuate. Even when he made a maniacal vow to murder all the Lasat on this forsaken world.

  
"They're already dead," one of the troopers said.

And that? Was that a glimmer of hope? Of peace?

"They wouldn't stop attacking," the trooper said. "Whoever authorized the use of the T-7s…"

Kallus stared at the trooper – of course with their helmets they were all impossible to tell apart. He couldn't tell if this one was pretending to not know who ordered them as to save Kallus from any political blowback, or simply didn't know it'd been Kallus himself.

"What did it do?" Kallus said, still unable to recognize his voice.

"It… wasn't pretty."

"Yes it was."


	7. Arrival on Lothal

The feel of the bo-rifle in his hands was familiar, the weight a comfort, as if it had always been his weapon. Kallus walked confidently, the first time in ages. The guilt which normally dominated his body, gone. He stepped lightly over the rubble, ducking slightly as he walked through the smoke and fire. It didn't touch him. Nothing could.

There was a figure in black crawling across the rubble. Kallus smirked, walking up behind him, watching his pathetic struggle.

The figure was reaching for a blaster, just barely out of reach. The sight of it made Kallus's grin deepen.

The words escaped his mouth, "Go on, you've almost got it."

This is not who you are.

Kallus watched, his body nearly shaking as he tried to hold back the laugh, waiting for this figure to grab his blaster. His hope, so miniscule, so wretched. A wasted effort, and yet, the hope was there. Ridiculous…

_Wake up._

As fingers wrapped around the blaster, Kallus made his move. It was quick. Almost too surreal to be real, the bo-rifle centering on his target.

_Stop._

The trigger pulled, but the effect it had on the body before him – not what a shot would have done.

And his mouth, contorting into a grin.

"Shouldn't have lost your-"

Kallus didn't so much wake up as he was ripped away from one reality and found himself in another one, just as terrifying and horrible. His heart was hammering against his ribs, ripping itself out of his chest, the pain of it so unbearable he felt his fingers clawing against his skin, trying to stop it.

He couldn't quiet his mind. Inside he was screaming, pleading for the thoughts to stop. His heart skipped a beat and his stomach fluttered - as if he was suddenly falling. He was out of his bunk the next moment, a failed attempt to outrun his own thoughts. To give himself something else to think about. One foot in front of the other... It was futile, like it always was, and he pressed his feet into the ground, as if to stop his decent. But that always failed, too.

The second wave was coming, as it always did, and Kallus knew there was nothing he could do to stop it.

He found himself crumpled on the cold ground of his room, arms wrapped around himself, trying to fight the panic but knowing that no matter how many times he told himself he was okay, that he was not okay.

He tried desperately to rationalize it, to tell himself that the monsters deserved it, that they'd been given every chance to surrender, that they brought it upon themselves by defying the will of the Empire, that their planet was doomed anyways so what difference did it make if he'd given them an easier death than the torture death-by-disruptor would have been. All lies. All pathetic excuses to try to absolve himself of the guilt.

It was only at these moments, when he was helpless and terrified and reliving his worst moments that he could admit to himself the horrible truth.

He'd become the monster.

-SWR-

"You look tired, Agent Kallus" Minister Tua said.

Kallus didn't respond. Since arriving on this planet, Kallus's nightmares had returned with a vengeance. To be fair, they'd never really gone away, but it had been years since it was a nightly ordeal to suffer through. Perhaps it was the promise of meeting another Lasat… in a twisted way, it was the reason he'd volunteered for the assignment to the backwaters of the Outer Rim.

A Lasat… with a crew of insurgents. Known for stealing weapons from the Empire…

It was a faint glimmer of hope that this one would be the one.

An end to the chase… perhaps one last chance at redemption. It was worth the sleepless nights.

"I… we… appreciate the assistance of the ISB," the minister tried again.

Minister Tua was an annoyance. Kallus assumed she'd gotten to her position through some kind of political connection, as she was utterly incompetent at everything she was expected to do. Whiney, easily overwhelmed… no wonder Lothal was harboring a spark of rebellion. She could barely even formulate a plan on her own on how to deal with it. The lack of government interference was all these rebels needed to grow.

"Double patrols," Kallus finally acknowledged her, nearly at the end of their walk from the landing platform to her office. "Particularly around every supply depot in Capital City."

"Of course, Agent Kallus," Tua replied.

How she didn't think to do that after any one of the rebels attacks absolutely astounded him. Again, incompetence directly aiding this budding rebellion.

At least he was here, Kallus mused to himself. Order would soon be restored.

\- SWR -

Focusing on work had helped Kallus get through many years… work helped shelter him from the loneliness, which was more oppressive than anything else. Weakness was not acceptable in the Empire, let alone the ISB. And besides, who would he talk to? He'd already sworn off developing any friendly relationships. He was a danger to friends - that he was certain of. When his friends were in danger, he locked up...

Kallus had somehow escaped any serious blowback from the siege of Lasan. Sure, there was a huge senatorial investigation, and nearly every last person involved were called to trail. The investigation went on for an eternity.

But the Empire was prepared.

There were handlers who instructed each of them how to answer questions. Kallus played it right – who gave the order to use the T-7s on a sentient being? Who knew.

It hadn't been right to lie. Then again, it'd been a long time since Kallus felt like he'd done the moral thing. It just got easier over time. Some things had to be done. And if he had to accept the mantel of brutality for the better of the Empire... then it was his fate to quiet that voice inside.

Sometimes Kallus wished he'd just been able to tell it how it was… the desire to simply say what had happened to anyone was a constant strain in his chest. Always lurking at the back of his mind. A yearning which pulled him, called to him, wouldn't let him rest.

But saying anything would have been suicide. The Senate would have thrown him in prison, if it didn't execute him for being a barbaric murderer first. The ISB would certainly be forced to let him go. No way they could maintain an impression of nonpartisan investigative practices if they would let Kallus continue working.

And then there would be the terror at what opening such an emotional flood gate would actually do to him.

Could he survive it?

_Time to focus on work._

The transport was on route, the destination close. Kallus could feel his heart racing, but not in the panicked way he imagined it would. They were in the Lothal hinterland… far from Capital City, the weird haystack rocky hills dotting their way. It was oddly peaceful. Idyllic. An unfortunate planet for rebellion to stir.

Kallus was ready to finish this chapter.

Because he was absolutely certain.

If there was one remaining Lasat in this entire galaxy… it had to be one which wasn't on Lasan during the siege. It had to be that mercenary, the one who'd ruined his life… the Lasat of Saw Gerrara.


	8. A New Lasat

_It'll all be over soon._

It was a sentiment Kallus had repeated to himself far too many times for him to take himself seriously, yet the idea – the hope – had too much allure to let go. Once again, on a transport. Again, on a new world. Again, to face a Lasat.

But the cycle had to break somewhere. Sometime. This time.

Kallus grinned to himself as he mentally scrolled through his list of preparations. He'd taken lessons on stick fighting, all the more to prepare himself with the bo-rifle. He'd worked out, lifted, made himself stronger.

The cycle had to end, and he was the one who would end it.

The transport settled onto the ground, and the storm troopers around him set off towards the battle. Kallus walked, mentally pumping himself up. This was it… he would finally face the beast who had been haunting him for years… This time he wouldn't freeze up. He had no one to be emotionally tied to. Even if it left him a monster in his own way, Kallus had prepared himself for this final confrontation.

So when a storm trooper was hit, crumpling to the ground, Kallus stepped over the body without a care in the world. The tiny scream in the back of his head was silenced. _No one to be emotionally tied to._

Heart rate rising, Kallus directed his thoughts to positive ones. This is where it'll end. Not fear. He'd prepared too much to be afraid.

"You, Lasat!" Kallus shouted, pointing at the figure in the distance, pulling the bo-rifle off his back and igniting it. "FACE ME!"

Kallus was sure the sight of the bo-rifle had done the trick. The Lasat stood there, obviously dumbfounded. Even if it didn't remember him, an Imperial holding a Lasat weapon would be enough to enrage it.

And sure enough, it did.

The Lasat growled and charged forward. Kallus, grinning, charged as well. It'll all be over soon.

It wasn't until they clashed weapons that Kallus realized he couldn't recognize the Lasat fighting him. The other – the one who had started all of this – its monstrous face was burned forever into Kallus's memory. This one was not it.

The regret lasted only a moment. The battle was fast, and Kallus was pleasantly surprised to find himself holding his own. The training had paid off. Kallus dodged swing after swing as though it wasn't a real fight at all but still only practice. And even if this wasn't that Lasat, the galaxy would be better off without any at all. A win-win.

Kallus was feeling in charge of the situation, which was of course the moment the Lasat managed to sweep his feet out from under him. Kallus tumbled to the ground, a momentary spike in terror – he'd dropped his weapon, his back was to his enemy. But instead he heard-

"Only the Honor Guard of Lasan may carry a bo-rifle," the Lasat growled.

"I know!" Kallus said, forcing himself to laugh, glancing over his shoulder to ensure the Lasat wasn't coming to attack him while he was down. "I removed it from a guardsman myself."

He rolled away as the attack finally came, getting to his feet quickly. So far, he'd mostly been dodging strikes, but it was time to make the Lasat open itself up to its own defeat. Make it reckless.

"I was there when Lasan fell," Kallus said, retreating, keeping the distance between them so he could say everything he wanted to say. "I know why you fear those disruptors. I gave the order to use them!"

Yeah, that did the trick.

The Lasat growled, swinging wildly with its bo-rifle. Kallus was steeled calm, dodging the strikes effortlessly. When he couldn't move out of the way fast enough, he switched to blocking with his bo-rifle. It was almost liberating. To block each strike, to be safe from harm. To be this in control.

And when an opening revealed itself? Kallus kicked the beast in the abdomen. Just one simple strike didn't hurt the Lasat much, but it certainly had a loud message. One Kallus was glad to have delivered. This puny little human wasn't helpless.

The whole tone of the attack changed.  
The Lasat held back, a look of surprise mixed with anger on its face. It was reading its opponent with a fresh outlook. Now the strikes were more measured. Held back. Kallus thought it's recklessness was easy to exploit, but this was better. It was afraid.

The strikes were easy to block, easy to avoid. And easy to exploit. Kallus jabbed the Lasat with the electrified end of his bo-rifle, a flutter of validation filled his heart at the sound of its cry.

And again, the strikes – they were getting so uncertain. So easy to avoid. And again, Kallus was able to shock his opponent.

_It's couldn't be this easy…_

All this time… all this preparation. Even if this Lasat wasn't the Lasat, this fight had given Kallus the first feeling of hope in years. This fight would soon be over. When the time came to fight the mercenary, it would go just as easily.

What he didn't expect was the sudden explosions rocking the ground under his feet. But Kallus kept his cool. Even if the troops were dead, even if his walkers were destroyed, he would not fail.

The Lasat was just as thrown off balance by the explosions, but more so, he wasn't focused on the fight. Kallus was. He waited, analyzing the situation, waiting for an opening. When he saw it, he plunged his bo-rifle forward, delivering yet another electric shock.

It did the trick.

The Lasat cried out again, and fell to its knees.

And… it had given up. It just… knelt there, exhausted. Kallus could see it's chest rising and falling. And… waiting. The fighting spirit had left it. Kallus lifted up his bo-rifle, a grin distorting his face. Once again, he would hand out death. One more monster the galaxy could be rid of-

-Kallus came to, his head pounding, his chest tight, his back aching. What had happened… another explosion? He shakily got to his feet. The Lasat was gone. The other rebels? Gone, too.

The sound of an engine running up to full power drew his attention, and Kallus had just reached a break in the Lothal hills to see the rebel ship leave.

He scowled. So the Lasat got away.

_Control your anger._

It got away. But he'd nearly defeated it. Kallus had to congratulate himself there. A human shouldn't have stood a chance. But he hadn't just met the beast on the same level – he'd exceeded it. Next time the two met – and they certainly would meet again – Kallus would finish the fight.

The mercenary faded to the back of Kallus's mind, as a new opponent took its place.

Now to review the files he had on the rebel ship and its crew. He'd quickly gained a new obsession.

Garazeb Orrelios.


	9. The Honorable Ones: Part 1

Kallus was slow to come to.

A faint red light illuminated his immediate surroundings, but at the moment, it didn't help him remember where he was or what he was doing. Or why he should return to consciousness with such a sense of foreboding.

Consciousness brought along with it a sharp pain in his right thigh, a pain which quickly worked its way from his leg into his mind. The injury dominated his thoughts. Instinctively he jumped up, hands flying to the hurt, a growl of pain escaping his lips. How did he get a broken leg?

It all came back to him.

The plan to trap the crew of The Ghost above the deserted planet Geonosis. Following the Lasat into the escape pod. One of the thrusters malfunctioning… the crash.

It was then that Kallus noticed the Lasat had its bo-rifle pointed at him.

Kallus's heart rate spiked in an instant. The pain was bad, the fear worse. It had been a long time since Kallus had found himself helpless.

Standing was out of the question. And fighting back? Where was his bo-rifle?

He barely noticed his adversary lower its weapon, or when the escape pod hatch opened – except that the sudden gush of freezing air flooded the pod.

But Kallus did notice when a beastly hand grabbed onto his shoulder, pulling him out of the pod.

"What are you doing?" Kallus screamed, trying simultaneously to tear the paw off his shoulder and find something – anything – he could cling onto to break the Lasat's hold. His fingers caught on various outcroppings on the side of the escape pod, but the grip was too fragile, too small, the Lasat too powerful.

With another scream, Kallus fell from the escape pod, his back hitting the ground hard.

He could feel his heart pounding in his throat, threatening to choke him.

He was back there – back on Onderon. Once again helpless. Unable to defend himself.

His eyes darted around, searching for his bo-rifle. Trying to scramble away as best as he could. But he couldn't see anything except snow and ice… and if he dared muster the courage to look at the beast before him – the Lasat had its weapon pointed straight at his chest.

"I'm just imagining how easy it would be to crush your head," the Lasat taunted, his words sending another debilitating spike of horror throughout Kallus's body. Onderon all over again. The taunting. The vulnerability.

It can't end like this, Kallus pleaded with himself. But there was no way out. All those years, seeking to avenge his friends… and it would end like this. Just lying there on the ground, helpless. Like he had been all those years ago.

Kallus wasn't himself – the fear had driven him into becoming who he used to be. Even as he tried to direct his thoughts, the idea that this was it screamed louder. How could this not be the way it ended? He was at the mercy of a Lasat. He knew just what the mercy of a Lasat ended up in.

"But-" the Lasat continued, catching Kallus's attention. It was… lowering its weapon. "I'd rather wait for you to heal, so we can finish our fight, fair and square."

It was hardly a promising sentiment, seeing that the beast poked at him with the end of the bo-rifle. So that's how the Lasat wanted to do things? Like a cat playing with a mouse. Give Kallus a slight glimmer of hope, enough to keep him living, until a "fair" fight could be arranged?

"You're expecting your rebel friends to come to your rescue?" Kallus bit out. If the Lasat was only planning to keep him alive long enough to kill him, might as well try to get it over with. He wouldn't go right out and plead for a quick death, but he certainly wasn't going to play along, pretend to have hope, just so the Lasat could enjoy his death all the more.

"Your friends fled," Kallus said. "If anyone finds us, it'll be the Empire, and you will be captured."

Kallus tried to push himself away, watching the reaction his words had on the Lasat. But all it did was turn back to the escape pod, mumbling, "That's not going to happen."

Kallus turned away in frustration. As much as he didn't want to die like this, if he was going to die helpless, it was going to be on his terms – not the Lasat's.

His heart jumped. His eyes fell on his bo-rifle. Not too far away, either. Close enough to crawl to.

Suddenly the hopes of suicide-by-Lasat were replaced with determination. Get the bo-rifle. Kill the Lasat. Get rescued.

Kallus quickly looked back at the escape pod, but the beast had crawled back inside. For what, he couldn't care less. Kallus pushed himself towards the bo-rifle, driving his arms into the ice, dragging himself along as quickly as he could.

And just as his hand reached the bo-rifle, a monstrous foot fell on the weapon.

"That's not happening either!" the growling voice warned.

His one final hope for redemption… and it was in the hands of the monster. Kallus growled to himself. And now what?

The Lasat grabbed the bo-rifle. Kallus knew it was pointless to try and get it back. With his leg broken, there was no way he could overpower the beast.

Was there a way to manipulate the Lasat instead? To convince it to keep Kallus alive long enough for the Empire to find them? Or to distract it long enough for Kallus to get control over his weapon again? To… survive? The Lasat was giant, bulky – perhaps it didn't feel the cold the same way Kallus could. But… if there was a way to convince it to keep him alive.

Then vengeance was still possible.

Kallus had to try.


	10. The Honorable Ones: Part 2

In just the last minute, he’d gone through three different outlooks on what his fate would be. At first, Kallus had given himself up for dead – helpless at the mercy of a Lasat. Then with the Lasat’s taunting, he’d tried to coax it into killing him. After all, staying alive in a hopeless situation long enough for the Lasat to kill him later was only delaying the inevitable. Then, with his bo-rifle in sight, Kallus’s hope had been rekindled… long enough to have his weapon taken from him again. But by then, the hope of surviving had taken hold.

He had to find a way to keep the Lasat from killing him… to lower its defenses. Either long enough so that Kallus could gain possession of his weapon again and kill it, or until the Empire showed up and killed it. Either way, Kallus was convinced that if the Lasat didn’t kill him when it had the chance, then his redemption was close at hand. It was like fate had changed the beast’s nature. To give him this opportunity. He couldn’t mess this up.

“It’ll be night soon,” Kallus said.

The Lasat crawled back out of the escape pod, an infuriating smile on its face, a generator in its hands. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid of the dark.”

Kallus scowled. “It’s not just going to get dark. It’s going to get colder. Too cold for _that_ to keep us warm.”

“And here I thought Geonosis was a desert planet.”

 _T_ _he idiot_ , Kallus thought to himself.

“ _That_ is Geonosis,” Kallus said, pointing above them at the orange planet clearly visible outside of their cave. “ _We_ are on one of its moons.”

Trying to scooch closer to the generator – and warmth – brought a stab of pain in his leg. Kallus let out a growl of pain, which he quickly subdued. He noticed the Lasat turn slightly in his direction. Probably just seeing how weak and helpless he really was.

“How is it that you have bested me, even once?” Kallus said, to remind it that he wasn’t defeated yet.

“Don’t get a sense of humor, Agent,” the Lasat said as it crawled back into the escape pod.

Kallus looked around once again, hoping there would be some other means he could use to defeat the Lasat. But nothing jumped out at him. At least they had a heat source. Kallus reached his hands out, feeling them warm. It wasn’t going to be enough. He didn’t want to admit it, but there stood a good chance of him freezing to death before the Empire even arrived. And then what? A gruesome thought crossed his mind – what if he froze to death… would the Lasat… _eat_ him?  
  


Before he could chase that thought, the Lasat was climbing back out of the escape pod… in its hand was -

“The transponder,” Kallus said. “Probably damaged in the crash. If you could repair it, reactivate it’s signal, maybe the Empire will find us, before we freeze.”

And then… a roar rumbled through the cave. Kallus felt his stomach sink.

“Or worse.”

And then, as though Kallus had something to do with it, the Lasat grabbed his bo-rifle… and pointed it at _him_.

“I’ll take my chances with the cold,” the Lasat grumbled. “And whatever we’re sharing this hole with. I know what happens to Lasat in an Imperial prison.”

And again, it prodded at Kallus with its bo-rifle. The throbbing pain in his leg was no match for the stab in his chest as his heart rate spiked again.

_Calm it down, calm it down!_

“You don’t know much,” Kallus stammered quickly. “Cooperate and you’ll get a trail.”

Kallus hoped Lasat couldn’t tell if humans were lying, because even he knew there would be no such thing. He himself wouldn’t give the Empire a chance to put the beast on trial. But if it meant calming the monster down…

“Right,” the Lasat said with a sarcastic laugh, but at least with a unknown threat, it took its sights off Kallus. Unfortunately, it grabbed the generator. As though the light it emitted would be enough to reveal the source of the roar.

“You better decide, soon,” Kallus said.

“What, between the Empire and whatever _that_ is,” the Lasat grumbled, scanning the cave again. “I’ll go with neither.”

“Sitting here and slowly freezing to death is not a better option," Kallus said.

“Who said it was?” the Lasat sat down next to the generator, its attention on the transponder. “Why just stop at fixing this thing? All I have to do is remove the encryption chip and anyone can pick up its signal.”

Kallus scowled. Having the rebels capture him wasn’t going to help him kill the Lasat. He had to say something – anything – to try and convince it there was no point to remove the encryption chip.

“I told you, your friends fled,” Kallus said, even though he really had no way of knowing it. But that’s how rebels worked, wasn’t it?

“You don’t know my friends,” the Lasat said. “They’re looking for me.”

“ _Why_ would they do that?” Kallus asked. “Why would they stick around when it’s only a matter of time before the Empire sends reinforcements?”

“Don’t you have friends, Agent?” the Lasat said sarcastically, but Kallus turned away.

There was no way for the Lasat to know anything about him, to know that Kallus had spent years of his life going out of his way to be cold and distant, but the jab hit home all the same.

 _That_ is _what_ _friends do_ , Kallus thought bitterly. _Risk their lives for one another. Not just lay there and watch them get murdered._

And then another, more self-deprecating thought struck him. _Did you just lay there to protect yourself? So the Lasat would kill the more interesting targets before getting to you?_

And just when he thought he couldn’t hate himself more, the thought took hold.

The Lasat noticed.

“Didn’t mean nothing by that,” the Lasat said, but Kallus wouldn’t turn around. Because that tone on its voice. It was almost like … an apology. Compassion from a monster that murdered helpless humans…

Kallus winced, glad the Lasat couldn’t see. The quicker he could get off this ice moon, the better. He though being trapped with this monster would end in his death, but _this_ … this was worse than he could have possibly imagined.   



	11. The Honorable Ones: Part 3

Kallus didn't want to admit how cold he was. Who would he even admit it to? The Lasat? The beast that was itching for an excuse to kill him?

At least it was occupied, furiously dedicated to fixing the transponder.

Kallus had to content himself with warming up a hand by extending it as close to the generator as he dared and then transferring the heat to his body. His ears were starting to go numb, and tiny pin pricks of pain were erupting all over his face and neck… anything exposed. The Lasat didn't seem to even notice the cold.

It had left him alone for the most part. Kallus should have known its few words of compassion weren't real. Just a trick so Kallus would lower his defenses. He chided himself for letting a few words about friends get to him.

This was survival. Not a time to reflect on his past.

"There," the Lasat said suddenly with a smile, holding up the transponder. "Fixed it, and I adjusted its frequency. Now anyone can pick up its signal."

Kallus could only think about how best to crush the Lasat's hopes. To prove to it that he wasn't defeated yet.

"So, maybe you won't die today," Kallus said. "But the Empire _will_ win. Every day we recruit more informers, every day we persuade rebel sympathizers to reconsider their allegiances."

The Lasat scowled, putting the transponder down. And then, just to be cruel, grabbed the generator, pulling it far from Kallus's reach. Before the last bit of heat was lost, Kallus wrapped his hand around his shoulder, feeling the brief warmth spread into his skin.

"And every day, more beings get fed up with the Empire and join us," the Lasat said.

And just like that, the generator flicked and went dead.

Kallus brought his intentions to the spot of warmth on his shoulder, focusing on the last bit of warmth he'd have. But the cold of the cave was stronger. It didn't last.

"It's power cell is frozen," Kallus said, looking at the generator. And then, with another shiver he tried to contain. "And we'll be next."

Freezing to death might not be a bad way to go, Kallus thought to himself. At the very least, he'd chased the Lasat into the escape pod. Whether by chance or fate or luck, the pod had crashed on this moon… if he died, the Lasat would soon follow. It wouldn't be a bad way to go.

He'd tried to hold back his shivering so as to not look weak before his adversary, but that was something he'd been able to manage _with_ the generator. Now without any heat source, he couldn't stop his whole body from trembling. Kallus tried rubbing his legs, wrapping his arms around his chest. Nothing worked.

They really would freeze to death.

The Lasat was getting up. A shiver ran down Kallus's spine that had nothing to do with the temperature.

"Where are you going?" Kallus asked, desperate. The idea of the Lasat leaving his line of sight filled him with panic. For reasons he couldn't explain, having the Lasat close to him and passive was better than it being far away and moving.

It didn't answer him.

"What are you doing over there?" Kallus tried again, noticing the Lasat was walking up to a glowing yellow light. That must have been what attracted its attention.

Still the Lasat ignored him.

"Huh, it's warm," the Lasat murmured to himself. It had picked something up – something small and yellow and glowing.

The seriousness of the situation made Kallus forget he was trying _not_ to sound weak. "What did you find?" he asked.

The Lasat turned and walked back. Kallus wasn't afraid of its approach this time. He only had thoughts for the strange glowing yellow orb it was holding. There was steam emitting from it… Kallus could almost taste the heat.

"What is that?" Kallus asked, gritting his teeth as the monster tossed it up playfully. So that was it? Find another heat source and then tease him with it? Kallus scowled as angrily as he could, but even anger couldn't warm his blood. His shivering was getting out of hand.

"I don't know, but it's warm," the Lasat said. "And it throws light."

Of course. The monster couldn't feel the cold. It was concerned about a light source… not something that would keep it alive.

"Probably some kind of meteorite," Kallus mumbled.

Kallus turned away again, shivering, his death becoming clearer in his mind. The Lasat would keep itself warm, and just watch, probably from a distance, as Kallus slowly succumbed to hypothermia and died.

"Here," the Lasat said, Kallus's head snapping back just in time to catch the rock he'd been tossed. "Warm yourself up."

It fell into his arms, and Kallus stared at it, not knowing what to make of it. Maybe he really was close to death, because for once he didn't think it was some kind of trick. The thought of the Lasat keeping him alive only long enough to kill him again was strangely silent.

And the warmth. Kallus hugged the rock close to his chest, feeling the tendrils of heat spreading to the rest of his body.

He looked up at the Lasat, wondering what it was thinking – giving him a chance to be warm, to gain some of his strength back. But… the monster's smile was gone. The mockery, gone. It just stared at him, serious. Without a hint of trickery.

Quickly the contentment was chased away with another distant roar.

The Lasat glared in the direction the sound had come from, bo-rifle scanning the tunnels spidering away from their cave. Kallus was transfixed. There was this look… like it wasn't scared at all. Maybe even something that could be interpreted as protective.

"Do you really think we'll survive?" Kallus asked. He really was getting frantic. He was asking the _Lasat_ what their chances of survival would be. "With whatever that is in there? Plus the temperature is dropping and our only heat source is this thing. And who knows how long it will last."

"You're so quick to give up hope," the Lasat said. It's tone was different though, no longer disdainful. Almost in a reassuring manner. It glanced up at the hole high above them, the snow racing by in the wind.

"Like I said, the transponder is working," the Lasat continued. "My friends will find us."

Kallus's heart gave a slight kick. _Us?_ He had figured if the rebels came before the Empire, they'd leave him behind. Probably laughing at him as they left. It was a fate he'd expect. One he'd deserved.

"The transponder signal will never get through the ice," Kallus said.

"Yeah, you're probably right," the Lasat said. "But Lasat never know when to give up, remember? We'll just climb this up to the surface."

Kallus wanted to remind the Lasat that he had a broken leg. He wasn't about to climb anywhere, which opened up another dreadful thought. He was trapped. The Lasat might be able to get out of this cave, but it surely wouldn't come back for him. Even with the gesture of handing him the meteorite, Kallus was still destined to die on this moon.

The Lasat walked away, glancing up at the walls. Kallus struggled to get to his feet. The only decent thing about the cold was that it was helping to numb the pain in his broken leg. He used the escape pod to pull himself up, and then, peeked around the side to watch the Lasat.

It really was going to climb out of this cave. And Kallus wanted to know how the Lasat did it if it managed to escape – Kallus could still use his arms. If there was a way to climb out of this cave, he needed to know.

But more than that – Kallus needed to keep an eye on his adversary. If there was even the slightest opportunity, he'd take it.

Maybe it would simply fall to its death. Maybe it would fall, injury itself – Kallus would have to be ready to finish it off. Or maybe-

The Lasat took Kallus's confiscated bo-rifle - Kallus leaned forward – and stabbed it into a snow bank.

… there it was. His _chance_. His last chance.


	12. The Honorable Ones: Part 4

The Lasat was making decent progress, Kallus thought as he watched the beast climb. It was a little disturbing, to watch it jab its claws into the ice, the scratching sound it made as it searched for its next foothold sending shivers down Kallus's spine. He remembered when he fought these things… the guardsman… the way it's claws had racked his flesh.

These things truly were beasts.

Kallus felt a glimmer of himself return, watching the Lasat. Not cold and desperate and helpless, a Kallus waiting to die. But an agent on a mission to avenge the deaths of his friends. His eyes flickered to his bo-rifle. If he were to make a run to grab it, he'd have to time it perfectly. The Lasat was still too close to the surface. Make the wrong move, and the beast could drop right on top of him.

And Kallus knew this was going to be his last chance. He didn't expect to live long if he enraged the Lasat again. With his leg broken and his body on the verge of succumbing to hypothermia, it would probably only take a swipe or two to finish him off.

He had to make this count.

The Lasat growled in frustration, its paws scraping the ice, frantically trying to dig in. Kallus ducked his head in gleeful anticipation – it fell. With a satisfying thud, the Lasat slammed into the ground.

"You're going to hurt yourself," he called.

He'd meant it to come out more jeering than it did, but at least the reaction was what he'd hope for. Kallus hadn't forgotten how careless the beast became when it was taunted.

"Will you just shut up!" the Lasat growled, returning to the wall and starting his climb again.

Kallus watched for a moment before his eyes fell on his bo-rifle again.

He knew where the Lasat lost its hold before it fell that last time. It was trying to use the same exact path. Like the stupid beast that it was. There was nothing about its behavior that would suggest it'd try a different route. Kallus did some quick mental calculations. Trying to figure how much time he would have, to get to his bo-rifle, before the monster fell again-

And before Kallus could so much as cover half the distance to his weapon, the Lasat fell.

How injured was it?

It took a moment for the Lasat to prop itself up… maybe he still had time. Time to stumble to his bo-rifle…

Kallus laughed.

This was it. It was his last shot.

And… the Lasat was quickly on its feet again, slamming fist into open hand.

"How would you like a few more broken bones?" it asked. Kallus took a step back, realizing he'd over estimated his own chances. The Lasat stood between him and his bo-rifle, and was coming towards him.

And then… in the shadows… a snuffling. Kallus stumbled back, falling against the escape pod. So… that roar they'd heard earlier… it was definitely a lot worse than what he'd imagined it was.

Whatever the beast was, it was giant. About the size of a small ship. How it stayed alive, Kallus couldn't tell – it was hairless, with a giant beak and tiny eyes. And anger… it was definitely angry.

The Lasat turned around, too. It was closer to the new threat – maybe Kallus would get lucky and this thing would just eat his adversary.

The monster roared, and the Lasat backed away, sizing up the thing with trepidation.

"Like this day couldn't get any better," the Lasat said.

The monster roared and charged. The Lasat turned and ran. Either because it was scared or trying to increase the distance between the two before turning and fighting – Kallus could care less. All he cared about was the Lasat had drawn the beast away, leaving a clear path to his bo-rifle.

He took a few stumbling steps, dragging his broken leg behind him, before the pain became absolutely unbearable. He only had a short distance left to go, so he hopped. He crashed into the wall his bo-rifle was sunk into. Gasping, reeling in the pain of his leg, Kallus looked up – not to his bo-rifle, but to the fight.

The Lasat was doing as well as it could. Shooting – going for vulnerable targets. The eyes. The head of the beast was encased in what was most likely very thick armor, but the eyes… the mouth.

Kallus grabbed his bo-rifle, turning to the battle… and found his sight picture changing… He settled his sights on the Lasat… and then pulled it to the beast… and back to the Lasat. Here it was. His _chance_. And as he kept telling himself, his last chance.

There'd been too many misses, too many lost opportunities. If he didn't take this one… if he let the Lasat win… those screams in the back of his head, the ones that came out at his darkest times… they'd never be silenced. He _had_ to take this chance.

But Kallus stalled too long.

The Lasat climbed into the safety of the escape pod. The conflict gone. Kallus raised his bo-rifle, and shot.

The beast was too well-protected to be bothered by the blaster fire, Kallus found out. And with his broken leg, he was easy prey. The beast turned and scuttled towards him, roaring in rage as blaster fire struck its face.

Kallus retreated, knowing he couldn't get far on his broken leg. He tried to ignore the sharp jolts of pain traveling up his leg with every step. He had to keep moving.

He took refuge behind a pillar – one of the pillars holding up the ceiling of the cave. How long he could stay hidden behind it was probably not long enough. He braced himself against the ice, eyes closed, forcing himself to ignore the throbbing in his leg.

When suddenly, the beast was struck with another volley of blaster fire.

With a scream, the Lasat joined the fight. And now that both of them were shooting, the beast gave up. With a screaming roar, it retreated into the caves. Kallus glanced over at the Lasat, a strange feeling coming over him again. He'd… fought _beside_ this thing… he still had his bo-rifle. All he had to do was turn and shoot… and it would be over.

And yet… he didn't.

"Karabast," the Lasat said. "What was that?"

"Don't know," Kallus said. "But it's probably going to come back."

"Yeah, and it's probably going to bring its friends."

_Friends._

The Lasat just had to keep using that word. The momentary thrill of battle vanished as the old familiar weight resettled onto Kallus's shoulders.

"That seems to be the order of things," he said, quietly, hobbling back to the escape pod. "The strong survive… the weak… perish."

He collapsed on the ground.

The Lasat growled. "Is that what happened to Geonosis? The weak _needed_ to perish."

"The only thing I know about Geonosis is that the population is gone," Kallus said, subtly glad the conversation took the turn it did. For a moment, he'd opened himself up too much. Revealed a weakness. And who cared about Geonosis?

"I never asked questions."

"Maybe you should start," the Lasat said. "Or are you afraid of the answers you'll get? Afraid you'll learn the Geonosians were wiped out by your precious Empire?"

"And why would we do that?" Kallus asked with an eye roll. He knew what the Lasat was up to. Still hurt about what happened on Lasan? Well the Lasat brought that upon themselves. They were given the chance to surrender, they didn't. They continued to attack, the Empire was forced to use a devastating weapon. It wasn't the Empire's fault. The only reason they wiped out Lasan was because the Lasat rose up against Imperial rule… an example had to be made… so other systems didn't suffer the same fate.

"What could possibly be the point?" Kallus asked. He was fairly curious about the answer the Lasat had cooked up. For what reason would the Empire wipe out an entire population – and do so quietly? There was no logic to it.

"Good questions," the Lasat evaded it. "Chase the answers and maybe you'll learn the truth."

As if the Lasat _knew_ the truth.

Kallus's heart was starting to race again, like it did any time that beast got angry. This wasn't a good conversation… he couldn't keep arguing with this thing. It was only a matter of time before it started thinking of Lasan… and with Lasan, came Kallus's own hand at dealing out death.

His mind raced, looking for another way to ensure the Lasat wouldn't kill him the moment it began to dwell on Lasan – a topic that now seemed inevitable to come up.

"You know," he said. "You'll never get out of here without my help."


	13. The Honorable Ones: Part 5

"You're in no shape to help anybody," the Lasat said with a growl, it's green eyes flickering on Kallus's broken leg as it shoved a medpac into Kallus's chest.

The words stung more than the violent jolt.

_It wouldn't be the first time._

"I can tell you exactly how to climb out of here," Kallus said.

The Lasat glared at him. Probably trying to see whether or not he was lying. Whether or not it was worth letting him live. Their eyes held, and then the Lasat finally shrugged.

"Alright," it said. "We'll work together."

Kallus tried not to look overly relieved. After all, they'd just been on the verge of bringing up Lasan once again… he'd successfully diverted the Lasat's attention.

It would explain why the Lasat was suddenly willing to patch him up. With the promise of a way to get out of the cave, the Lasat was forced to keep Kallus alive.

It wasn't the most comforting thought, but at least there was hope behind it.

Kallus tried not to grimace as the Lasat grabbed his bo-rifle. Kallus must have been approaching death faster than he thought – to let his guard down – to even _forget_ that his weapon was right next to him and to not have the presence of mind to use it.

"I see you've modified it for close quarters fighting," the Lasat was grumbling as it extended the butt stock of Kallus's bo-rifle and looked down the sights. Thankfully not at Kallus. "Impressive. But you shouldn't have it. It's not a trophy. Now hold still."

Kallus winced, trying his best not to show how badly the broken leg had been hurting him. The Lasat wasn't exactly gentle, either, but at least he knew basic first aid. The bo-rifle acted as a splint, and it wrapped the weapon to his leg at the proper places – above the break, below the joint. The beast actually did a half-way decent job at it.

For a moment, Kallus was surprised the Lasat use his bo-rifle as a splint at all. It meant his weapon was within reach at all times – if he managed to rip through the bandages and get it off his leg in time to make the kill.

But then, Kallus realized, it was a perfect splint. Kallus couldn't use his bo-rifle without a whole lot of effort, and the Lasat didn't have to constantly guard the weapon.

Helpless again.

Kallus struggled to get to his feet, pulling himself up by grabbing onto the escape pod.

"I didn't take it as a trophy," he insisted, realizing only too late the trap he'd walked into. _Idiot_.

Kallus knew he should just drop the subject. He'd been trying to avoid bringing up the subject of Lasan the entire time they'd been marooned together, and now, the Lasat was glowering at him. If he didn't say anything, the beast was sure to jump to conclusions.

"The Lasat guardsman I faced," Kallus started, but a swell of emotion cut him off. This would be the first time he'd talked about this… about any of this… to _anyone_. Well, anyone outside of an official inquiry, which didn't really count. Kallus's heart jumped into his throat, but he pressed on.

The waiver in his voice… it was embarrassing, but the sudden need to say it was stronger. "He… fought well. Died… with honor."

The words were tough to get out. Even tougher to make sound sincere. The images rushed back, flooding his mind.

The guardsman… had lived with honor, too. It had given him every chance to escape. It deemed the fight unfair… not to itself but to Kallus. To the Imperial who'd participated in the destruction of its world… the Imperial who'd charged into the palace with a disruptor… an unfair weapon. It had every right to murder his straight out, but didn't… because it wasn't the honorable thing to do.

Kallus continued, driving the thoughts away. Talking about this was more difficult than he'd imagined… especially… talking to a Lasat….

"He gave me the rifle before-"

"The busahn kira," the Lasat interrupted.

"The what?" Kallus asked.

"The busahn kira," it repeated. "The Lasat warrior way. When one is defeated by a superior foe, he gifts his weapon."

Kallus felt a stab in his chest.

 _No_.

But that mercenary… it had used that phrase, too. It spoke of a Lasat way, and _that_ way involved murdering the helpless… the defenseless… not… respecting a fair fight. Not honoring a superior foe… not… letting an unmatched adversary leave an unfair fight… even an adversary… as vile as Kallus had been…

Kallus's mind kept replaying the moment the Lasat guardsmen tried to surrender its weapon. He tried to remember what he'd been thinking… it was so hard to make sense of it now. At the time, Kallus thought the Lasat was surrendering… pleading for mercy – mercy Kallus refused to deliver. Because he thought the Lasat way was to kill the innocent… and giving it mercy seemed like the worst kind of betrayal to the dead Kallus had failed to save.

But it had been… trying to respect him. _Him._ As a superior foe.

The realization stung more than reliving the memory.

"I was… only doing my duty," Kallus said, lamely, his thoughts focusing on the people he'd evacuated. "It was nothing… personal," his thoughts flickering to his dead friends.

The lie was bad, even by Kallus's standards.

"Yeah," the Lasat said. Clearly not moved by Kallus's words. "What the Empire did on Lasan, I'll never forget it.

"We all have things we won't forget," Kallus said.

Why he was going there, Kallus didn't fully understand. It was the deepest of wounds, the most dangerous, the most likely to hurt… why he had a sudden desire to make the Lasat understand him…

"I remember my first unit," he said. "The boys and I were deployed to Onderon, to bring peace and security to a troubled world. We were on a routine patrol, and ran into one of your rebel friends, a Lasat mercenary who worked for Saw Gerrera."

He paused for a moment, hesitating on the brink, a tiny scream sounding off from the back of his mind, telling him not to risk it. And yet falling forward anyways.

"I was lucky. Knocked out by the first blast."

_The smells of burning fuel, the confusion, the dust from crumbled buildings hanging in the air._

"I came to, but found I couldn't move."

_Couldn't – or wouldn't._

"And then I saw _him_."

_The way the shadowy figure emerged through the smoke._

"The Lasat calmly walked through smoke and fire to finish my unit off… one by one."

_The beast's demented grin. The mockery. How it trailed after the dying, playing with them._

"The injured never had a chance."  
 _  
The memory of being alone… in the silence… with only the mutilated corpses for company._

"Always wondered why he let me live."

_The way it locked eyes with him. The grin. The words, "You'll do."_

Kallus knew why he lived… he was to spread the word, make a name for the Partisans. Did the mercenary intend for all of _this,_ too? The everlasting hunt, the passion to murder all of its kind?

It had set him on a path. One that had only produced devastation.

And for a flickering moment, Kallus realized that what he wanted most now was someone to understand. Even if it was…


	14. The Honorable Ones: Part 6

Waiting for a reaction was more frightening then reliving his experiences. The Lasat had had a few flinches, a moment or two of discomfort. But Kallus was done. What he was hoping the Lasat would do now, even he didn't quite know.

"Well, you can't judge all Lasats as the same," it said.

So that's what it ended up being… an excuse … Kallus could feel the letdown in his chest. But what did he expect? He never considered trying to be sympathetic to a Lasat. Not after all the death he'd witnessed… why did he expect a Lasat would forgive him for participating in their genocide?

"Does that same sentiment apply to Imperials?" Kallus asked, another badly worded plea for understanding.

"Only the Imperials I know," it answered, lifting its weapon again, once again resorting to a threat.

But Kallus didn't feel threatened. Or even too worried.

Well, there it was. And what did Kallus expect anyways? He hadn't even forgiven himself, why should a Lasat feel anything but utter contempt for him?

"I'll take that for you," Kallus said, referring to the bo-rifle. The desire to kill, gone. "For the climb."

The Lasat clearly didn't trust him. Even after Kallus had just bared his soul. It grabbed its weapon and threw it – clear out of the hole high above them and out of the cave. For a moment, Kallus could only stare dumbfounded. He didn't know what to marvel more at – the absolute lack of trust this beast had for him, or the idiocy in throwing away their only defense in case those giant lizard things came back.

But then it went even further. It threw the transponder and – Kallus's heart gave a faint wobble – the meteorite. It had been the only thing keeping him warm.

If the Lasat failed now… he was destined to die.

"We'll get it when we reach the top."

If _we reach the top,_ Kallus thought bitterly.

And then he realized the Lasat's level of distrust… of course it would throw away the meteorite… now Kallus _couldn't_ hurt it… He'd freeze to death within minutes if he didn't get that meteorite back. The pain of distrust – something which never bothered him before – stung deeply.

"Time to go," the Lasat said, as if it were a joke. As if the seriousness of the situation hadn't even dawned on it. As if the last two times it had tried to climb out of this hole it hadn't fallen.

The Lasat gestured for Kallus to approach. For a moment, Kallus was stunned. He'd thought the Lasat referred to "we" as a mistake. Surely it wasn't planning on attempting the climb _with_ Kallus. But no, it gestured again, to its back… it wanted to _carry him?_

A wild moment of terror came and went. It would be a perfect way to kill him, Kallus thought. If he fell from the height of the ceiling, Kallus knew he wouldn't survive. It would be perfectly innocent enough. Kallus might not even realize it'd been murder.

Not to mention the Lasat didn't forgive him for anything that happened on Lasan. It was still very much angry with him… it was a stupid idea to even consider going with it. Of putting his life in its hands.

But… the other option? To lay in a cold cave where giant lizard monsters lived and… what? Hope the Empire picked up the transponder signal and arrived… to save him before he froze to death?

He'd have to put his life completely in the Lasat's hands… and the thought of it was absolutely terrifying. But what choice did he have.

Kallus hobbled over to the Lasat. He still had a chance to back out…

And found himself climbing up onto it's back all the same.

The Lasat started off immediately. _The idiot._ Was it seriously going to try the same thing it'd failed to already do twice on its own?

"Hold it," Kallus said. "Don't climb the walls, go _up_ the pillars."

Seriously, how this beast didn't think to do in the first place-

"What?" the Lasat asked. "The pillars'll never hold my weight, let alone yours added on."

"They hold up this cave, don't they?" Kallus said.

Before the Lasat could admit being out-planned, a roar rumbled over the cave.

"If you're wrong, I'm feeding you to that thing," the Lasat said.

"Fair enough."

The words escaped Kallus's mouth quickly. At least they didn't sound as suicidal as it came out.

It wasn't a good sign that the Lasat was already grunting before they'd even made it to the pillars. Kallus winced at the thought. Now was not the time to be afraid. It was a strange sensation. To let go, to let something he hated – no, _feared_ – have absolute control over his life.

And then it started to climb.

Kallus grit his teeth and held on. It was all he could do, though even that was challenging. The Lasat didn't just climb up the pillars. No, it had to take a step up, slip, readjust, dangle from one arm, take a step to the side. If Kallus wasn't so close to the ground, he'd swear it was intentionally trying to knock him off.

"This… is a terrible idea," the Lasat growled.

"Just climb" Kallus snapped back, holding his tongue before he called it something rude. Last thing he needed was to give it an incentive to throwing him off.

A screeching roar echoed in the cave, and Kallus could feel the Lasat beneath him tense up. Kallus couldn't believe what he was seeing, either.

"There are two of them," he said.

"Karabast," the Lasat muttered.

"Karabast, karabast, what does that even mean?" Kallus asked.

"Right now, it means you're a lot heavier than you look."

For a wild moment, Kallus expected the Lasat to shake him off. Let him fall. Use him as bait to distract the monsters while he made his escape.

But…

_It kept climbing._


	15. Honor

Kallus quickly came to terms with his death.

There was simply no other way he could even imagine getting out of this cave alive. Now it wasn’t even the cold which would finally do him in. The Lasat had reached the ceiling of the cave… and it didn’t take much imagination to realize how fruitless the rest of their escape would go.

And those two enormous monsters were rearing up, screaming their terrible screams… they were hungry, and the Lasat had nowhere left to go.

The Lasat had claws, and drove them into the ceiling of the ice cave. Without explanation or pause, he began to climb – Kallus had a sickening drop in his stomach – across the ceiling.

_Like an insect… something completely inhuman._

Of course gravity would be yet another contender in how Kallus would die. The moment the Lasat changed planes, Kallus was clinging on for dear life, his arms tightly wrapped around the Lasat’s body… but Kallus was barely holding on. His joints were much more seized up than he’d realized. The cold had worked its way into his core. His muscles were cramping, his strength seeping away.

It took everything he had to remain clinging to the Lasat. 

Another sickening twist in his gut, and Kallus realized he was dooming them both.

It was a strange thought – a foreign thought. If he held on, it was only a matter of time before his weight pulled the Lasat free from the ceiling. And they would both be done for. 

And though the thought hadn’t pushed any farther – he wasn’t considering letting himself go just to save the Lasat…. It still felt strange. Here. In this cave. Of all times and places. To even consider it.

One of the monsters reared up again, managed to get its’ teeth onto Kallus’s leg – not enough to break his grip, but enough to terrify him. 

His heart jolted his body, his fingers dug in harder.

The will to live kicked back into high gear.

The Lasat managed surprisingly well. Perhaps it also realized the margin for error had stopped to exist altogether. Even when the monster had thrown Kallus askew – absolutely wrecking the Lasat’s center of balance, it used the momentum to bring it to another stalactite. 

Kallus slammed into the Lasat’s back, thankful – for as short a time as it would be – that he was vertical once more. 

It didn’t last. 

Perhaps it was partly the relief of not hanging from the ceiling – but Kallus’s grip loosened ever so slightly. Just enough that he lost his hold over the Lasat.

A startled scream and he began to fall.

Only to be grabbed once again. Not by one of the monsters – but by the Lasat.

It made no sense. None whatsoever. The Lasat could have been free of him right then and there. It could have made it’s escape easier. It had no need for Kallus at all… It could have avenged a _planetful_ of Lasat by doing _nothing._

_But it grabbed him. ___

__

__“Hold still,” the Lasat said._ _

__Kallus glanced up quickly, eyes wide, absolutely beyond confused._ _

__“And hope this works.”_ _

__“Hope?!” Kallus said. “Hope what works!?”_ _

__Kallus tried his best to hold still – why he was suddenly so complacent in having a Lasat determine his fate, he couldn’t guess. It was difficult to not scream. And in the end, swinging by his broken leg was too much. The pain drove him forward, reaching for his leg, blinding grabbing at the pain as if he could stop it if only he could put his hands on it, smother it. Like a fire._ _

__Nothing could prepare him for what the Lasat had planned. He couldn’t even process what had happened until he was swinging by his leg from the ice cave ceiling… He’d been… _flipped?_ By his broken leg… somehow with enough force to secure him to the ceiling._ _

__The world was surprisingly disorienting being upsidedown. Not to mention that dull, inescapable pain. There were sounds… roars from the monsters, growls from the Lasat. Before Kallus could turn his head or even begin to imagine how he was going to get himself free, he felt the tug of gravity shake his sense of security._ _

__The pick on the bo-rifle, which had sunk its way into the ice… was coming loose._ _

__“No, no no no no no,” Kallus said, reaching up, past his broken leg, again, desperate hands scrambling. There was nothing to hold onto, nothing he could use for a grip._ _

__And once again – for the hundredth time it seemed – death was once again barring its teeth, preparing itself for the kill. But this time, there was no escape…_ _

__If he fell and no one was there to grab him – no, not a ‘one’ but a ‘thing’ – he would plummet to his death. His carcass would be devoured by those creatures. No one would know his fate. It was now only a matter of time._ _

__This moment? No… this moment passed and he lived through it… the next then. The next moment his time would come, the pick would work its way loose. And he would fall._ _

__But that moment passed, the pick shuddered… so it would be the next moment. And each moment he survived, Kallus reminded himself to be thankful for it… to have that extra moment of life…_ _

__And then he fell._ _

__He shouted – more of a reflex, for he knew his time had come – sticking out his legs as though trying to find something to push against, to slow his fall. All a instinctual reaction, for logically he knew there would be nothing to -_ _

__He stopped short. It hadn’t been long enough of a fall to-_ _

__Kallus looked up – he was in the arms of the _Lasat?!_ That beast had… caught him??? Again??? It had… all it had to do was watch him fall… and…_ _

__Before Kallus could dwell on it further, the Lasat _threw_ him, actually bodily threw him. And surprisingly, it _worked._ Kallus flew through the air, the blast of subfreezing wind striking him bodily as he came up over the hole made in the ceiling of their cave, landing in bitter snow… _ _

__Kallus looked up, his thoughts in a jumbled mess. His eyes caught on the meteorite… casting its inviting, soothing yellow glow upon the snow. But beyond… the bo-rifle._ _

__The monster’s weapon…._ _

__This was it._ _

__It would be his fine chance._ _

__Kallus crawled, desperation giving him energy he thought he’d lost. It would be only a matter of time before he froze… before the Lasat reached the top… before his death._ _

__The wind howled, screams echoing in his mind… he knew those old screams, piercing him with a coldness far deeper than the temperature ever could._ _

__His fingers wrapped around the metal, now bitingly cold from the exposure._ _

__It felt warm in his hands. It was his moment. His last chance…_ _

__After fighting and scrambling for the upper hand._ _

__Not on his hands and knees… not like a beast…. Kallus drove the bo-rifle into the ground, using as much of his remaining strength as he could to pull himself to his feet. No… he would die like a man… the wind continued to scream in his ears. _I know…__ _

__He pointed it at the hole… a step, and the pain from his leg drove up his spine, making his head light. He was so close… so close. Keep the weapon up… don’t fail now…._ _

__The next moment, the Lasat was there… clinging to the edge, its monstrous claws ripping into the ice…_ _

__“Karabast,” the Lasat muttered._ _

__Kallus hesitated._ _

__He had the upper hand. He had the meteorite. The transponder. He had the bo-rifle. He had every means of escaping alone._ _

__And still he hesitated to take the shot._ _

__The screams still sliced away at his mind… _no…. not screams. Not pleas for revenge… pleas for mercy._ Mercy from a monster. _ _

__Kallus moved the sites only a fraction, and took the shot._ _

__The beast down in the cave roared in protest, once again denied its rightfully gained meal. The Lasat looked back, as though he couldn’t believe the sudden change of events. Change of heart._ _

__Kallus stumbled another step closer, lowering the bo-rifle, the sites no longer on target, the weapon inert, unable to protect him…. Removing his hand from the bo-rifle's handrail, letting the weight of the weapon point the barrel towards the ground, Kallus reached out._ _

__Garazeb took his hand._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well everyone, this is ~unfortunately~ where I will be cutting this fic. Although I somewhat abandoned this fic, I wanted to make at least a notionary effort to finish. I think I wrapped it up okay… I mean, it didn’t go as far as I’d like, but the message was the same. It ends with a choice.
> 
> Out of all the fanfiction I've written, this has been the one which has consistently remained closest to my heart. It's not popular, not by a long shot, but it's deeply personal. Not everyone in this fandom will understand me, but maybe through a character, they might? Anyways, hope everyone enjoyed it.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Seeds of Rebellion](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14212965) by [Moira_Starsong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moira_Starsong/pseuds/Moira_Starsong)




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